Solo and Chewbacca were ready to awaken an unimaginable fury who only jedis can do:
"Chewie, ready to unleash your powerful inside force?" - but Han received a hologramphone call:
"Han, we need to talk" said Leia sounding like a stalking honey badger. Han passed the aparatus to Chewie.
"Grrrrraaauuhrr!"
"Good day to you too alien, but I need Han".
Chewie gave the thing back to Solo:
"Han not come yet bro!" said Han pretending to be a math equation. "Wanna leave a message?" But Leia hung up.
Leia, take your bighead and leave our Han alone!
********
Han and Chewbacca decided to take course for the Death Star. Their plan was to ask Vader out for dinner in an Ithorian restaurant which was recommended by a menhir. Vader took off his suit and off they went.
- We are all stupids when we need talk about Ithorian cuisine, I think. So, it's for it we never say something relevent on threats - said Vader, already drunk.
- Well, I'm so glad to participate of Mon Calamari forum (You know what I mean, Darth), so... I stranged when I come here: An Ithorian forum - observed Chewbacca.
- Shoevaca, I very much like that mythical shenannigans you use in your hair. Very inclusive. Where can I get me sum of dat goodie goodie? Very exclusive and unique. Sing for me! - Vader ordered before ordering some pizza.
Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
Are we human?
Or are we stupids?
Argh we pirate?
Or argh we stupids?
Graaaawr we wookie?
Graaaaaaawr we stupids?
Graaaaaaaawr graaaaawr
Graaaarawwwrrs
********
Veganism was now mandatory everywhere across the Galaxy. Except in Tattooine. In Tattooine they were all about their art supplies.
In Tats, Jabba started a riot, and this week's theme was:
- What's your favourite crayon colour?
Vader had been fired after the Death Star was destroyed by Han Solo, Chewbacca and the Menhir, so he was looking for job opportunities and went to visit his old racing sponsor, Jabba.
- Jabba, have you tried the brand Little Twinkle Tinny Stars? It's on store in Begger's Canyon and is non-gluten-free.
- My favorite delicacy is escargots - answered the fat gelatinous villain.
- Jabba, escargots are outlawed! You can only eat art supplies, vegans, and iPhones - rapped MC BB-4-the-C-Fortuna.
- iPhones? Medium-rare or well done in Gungan Juice sauce? - shrieked Jabba, excited.
- Doesn't matter, just breathe it all in, bruh. I had a date with some iPhone bruhs, bruh.
- You smoked some smokes? I love smoking smokes! Too bad I was in the Wet Sea of Cona. - said someone.
- Don't swear! I'm in my blue dress! You know I feel sensitive when I dress in sad colors - Vader was looking very blue. Then, he turned to Jabba:
- Cookies.
********
- I saw Saw and barely anything besides Saw. While sawing Saw I sawed my life away. To be sincere, I regret. I regretted that. I regrets. No Jedi like no life Jedi. No Jedi, I Cry.
- That's I was talk about! Do you think Danone is G-canon?
- I'm upsad.
********
Big Mace was at a restaurant eating two pastels of grass. A police officer was next to him eating a Space Donut. Mace looked at him and the officer's eyes seemed to scream at him "Jew chihahua, I'm gonna fuck you up".
- HEY! HEY! You racist mothafuk! Imma lightsaber yo ass right here! - and Mace ignited his purple laser sword.
- Chill ma man!! I was only thinking "dis nigguh looks ugly!"
- Oh man! Sorry man! I thought you were anti sistemetic! Come join me ma man, let's eat some fried chickun and watermelons.
********
Bobba Fett like his soup with fetta cheese, his soap with blue cheese and his Dad with the head attached. His mom was serving dinner:
- Bobby, go call your brothers. Daddy is not eating with us tonight because he was killed in Geonosis 7 years ago.
- Okay mommy. - Bobba went out to call his brothers.
200000 clone units entered the small kitchen and got comfortable. It smelled like soap!
- Nasty! Who took a bath in blue cheese?
- That's just Han's, honey. I'm leaving you all to go with him build a flying boat, we think we have a chance at the Falconry Games in Mongolia. Ba-bye now.
********
Vader, Chewbacca and Solo were playing Oblivion. Vader was leveling up watering flowers while the other two were still configuring their PC computer. Leia was doing laundry.
- I need to get my sweet ass in Paris to catch Big Show Sic live but I'm short on cash. Wanna buy some meth? - said the frying pan.
- Okay.
********
********
by doom, crow, Solid Snake @FanForce/DragonBallPT, O_broche_da_moderação @FanForce/DragonBallPT, Darth Pureza do Santos @FanForce/DragonBallPT
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